There is a specific kind of artistic ‘high’ that comes when I stop trying to make the work “correct” and start making it honest, messy and often melancholic. I have learned that to wait for inspiration and perfection is not the best choice; I just have to do the work, even if it feels flawed. In my case, this closes a gap between taste and craft. So it is about letting go of perfection and choosing volume so that I get closer to the real and authentic expression I need.
I am wired to find the beauty in the missing pieces. Jung suggested we must eat our shadows to become whole; on this line, I am feasting on the decay, and it is a beautiful noise. As soon as I stopped looking for the glory of the old steam engine and started looking for the shadow it left behind, I felt energised by the project. I am drawn to the things that are no longer there.
My walk along the rail became a walk into the psychology of a landscape.
I want to record the paint and rust that peels like skin and the Genet’s midden where the garra ferments in the heat. Can this become the ‘Prima Materia’ in my work?
As I walk the Ghost of this line, I envy the order, the precision and strength of the steel rails, but there is a vitality (as in alchemy?) in the way nature has been reclaiming it. (which I think this rigid world could never have) I discovered that decay is a form of life, and rigidity is a form of death.
(In alchemy, the “Prima Materia”, or the starting point of the Great Work, was often described as “filth” or “dung.”).
NOTES to CONTINUE with the scroll
14 April 2026: The scroll is now ready to use – glair is applied and dry. I have used the white of 11 eggs to make the glair. The total length of this scroll is 12.030meters.
I now also need to consider how to make the title strips (harifuda) and where to place them on the outside of the scroll. I like that this will serve as an external identification label, and when the scroll is properly rolled, the harifuda remains visible on the outside of the cylinder. (Currently, I have pencil and red pen marks on the scroll to indicate length and glair batches.)
I cannot wait to start at the old abandoned station and see if I can take a direct rubbing of the wall. The cracks and flakes will create an intricate, map-like texture that mirrors the geography of the Swartland.
Confession: By relentlessly recording the 10.055m increments, I will burn away the ego’s need to be “special” and arrive at the authentic expression that was hiding under the expectation of starting this work.